


“If you need to learn how to talk to a lady, ask your mum.”

by Ya_pal_janet



Category: Bayonetta (Video Games), Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Bayonetta is tall, Canon-Typical Violence, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Mom Bayonetta, Mother-Son Relationship, Multi, Post-Canon, Witches, akira calls bayo foreign but just as an observation, bayonetta as jokers mom, joker and Bayonetta kill angels, not in a rude way, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29559981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ya_pal_janet/pseuds/Ya_pal_janet
Summary: After finally relaxing from the mess that was Akira Kurusu’s second year of high school. A new a mysterious danger arises. And who better to help Akira with this trouble of his than mother dearest.(A Bayonetta as jokers mom au, that takes itself a bit to seriously)
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Persona 5 Protagonist, Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, Bayonetta (Bayonetta) & Kurusu Akira, Bayonetta (Bayonetta) & Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 18
Kudos: 146





	1. Mother dearest writes to me,

It never really bothered him to an extent. It never came up now that he was in Tokyo either. His parents or home life before Tokyo wasn't important right now anyway. Sojiro knew Akira's dad just sent him way out of shame and never brought it up. Those memories weren't all too pleasant.

So it doesn't phase him when he slips his tongue one night. Honestly, there wasn't anything unusual about it anyway. He and the rest of the phantom thieves were just hanging out in the attic one rainy night watching movies on his old brick of a TV.

"I-I've... Never met my mother," the actress stuttered out in what was supposed to be a dramatic scene in the movie. Of course, Akira didn't take it all that seriously.

"Ha, same," He chuckled to himself.

"What?" was the responding sound and facial expressions of the group. Akira looked just as puzzled at their reaction, not realizing what he had just said.

"What's the look for? All I said was, Oohhh-," He cuts himself off midsentence with an immediate realization.

"Akira, I'm sorry," Haru says softly in sympathy, looking down to the floor.

"Oh, uh, um it's not a big deal, I guess? I sort of came to terms with it a while ago," He says while scratching at the back of his neck awkwardly. "I mean she still sends me cards on my birthday and holidays, but other than that, never met her."

He could feel the atmosphere of the room get bogged down like a bolder in a swimming pool. The attic is silent, except for the movie still murmuring in the background. Akira shuffles in his seat with all the eyes at him. The pity felt odd, for something like this. He never talked about it before so it just felt awkward to do so now.

"If you ever do want to talk about it though, we're here, okay?" Ann offers sympathetically.

"I second that!" Ryuji says with gusto.

"Guys I appreciate the concern, but seriously it's fine," Akira responds.

Luckily they eventually go back to the movie without questioning Akira anymore. By the time Futaba heads back to Sojiro's, Akira is drained. His head an emotional stew of sorts. So much so that he goes to the little box stashed away from when he first moved to Tokyo.

Tucked against the sides are the letters from his mother. She started sending them when he was about four and learning to read. They smelled heavily of rose perfume and had hand-made wax seals. They were all written in a fine script, that looked like a foreigner had written them. He supposed his mother wasn't Japanese, which might explain why he never met her. It is a bit difficult to form a bond with your kid if you're overseas.

The older envelopes had started to curl at the edges with age, and how many times Akira had opened them. He reaches for the most recent one. The return addresses were never the same. New York, various places in Europe, and so many other random places. Maybe she traveled for work? That's why she could never settle in Japan?

In all honesty, I was just a mess of dead ends. Nevertheless, Akira began reading the letter.

"Hello Akira, Sweetheart,

Another year has flown by, hasn't it? It feels like they just get shorter and shorter do they not, love? You're growing up much too fast for me, little one. Best wishes to you today, love. Please tell your father that I hope he is doing well. I understand this distance between us is hard for you, darling. Even if you resent me, I do have the highest of hopes for you, little one. There are just some things that I need to take care of first.

Love,  
Your Mother "

That was it. Ominous as all hell, yet it brought some comfort to him. To know she cares enough to send him a letter each year and write in such an eccentric way.

\----

Like usual his mother doesn't take up his thoughts any more than she usually does. If anything she takes up even less of his time with everything going on.

Besides shooting a god in the head and dealing with his delusional therapist, he's also come to terms with his romantic endeavors. Akechi had just set his world on fire in the best ways possible, huh? God, he is lovesick. Of course, he doesn't want to hold his hopes too high, but Akechi is one for his word and doesn't die easily. Not to mention seeing a glimpse of him at the train station as he left for his dad's house. (Who sent him back to Tokyo in a flash when Akira told him about Sojiro's offer of him staying for his 3rd year.)

So yeah, Akira wasn't occupied with the thought of his mother at the moment. His dad had given him the card she sent while he was in Tokyo the first time. Apparently, she was now aware of the location change, how she managed that wasn't Akira's problem. He hadn't opened the letter yet, too emotionally scrambled to handle much more at the moment. But he's been slowly working his way through it, talking to people at his various odd jobs had been helping. As well as talking way too late into the night on facetime with Ann and Shiho.

He's talking with Lala Chan and Ohya at the moment. Ohya's drunken spunk and Lala's calmer demeanor help him lighten up at the moment.

"God, you're so in love it's adorable! Isn't adorable, Lala Chan?" Ohya asks with a drunken grin.

"Leave the poor kid alone, he'll be redder than a tomato if you keep teasing him," Lala chastises with amusement.

"Ooooohhh but you get to tease him? Seems hypocritical of you Lala," She slurs out.

"I can tease my workaholic employee all I please," Akira just snickers to himself. He continues scrubbing down glasses and plates while Ohya starts mumbling to herself.

There was a chime at the door indicating a person had come in. Not many people but Ohya came this late. When he turns his attention to the doorway he notices a very tall woman. She has to be six feet at the least, she must be a foreigner. Hell, Akira doesn't know of many Japanese dudes that reach six feet.

She looks to be a bit older than Ohya. In her thirties? Maybe? Wasn't it rude to ask a lady's age or something? Anyways, she's wearing high-waisted pants that flare out at her ankles and a rich royal blue turtle-neck. Her heels are exceptionally impressive with ornate decoration complementing her glasses border and the trim of her suit jacket draped over her shoulders.

She looks like royalty. Enough so, that Akira freezes up in her presence a little. Stood in awe of her confidence that exudes out of every movement. She takes a seat right in front of Lala, who she greats with a coy smile.

"Hello there, It wouldn't be too much trouble for you to make me a Pink Squirrel?" She asks. She's defiantly foreign because of her thick British accent that seeps out of her smirk. It's similar to the one he wears as Joker in the metaverse, even the little smile indent that wasn't quite a dimple.

Regardless of her confidence, she feels powerful. It's like a showtime attack with Akechi upped by a tenfold. Was she a persona user? It wouldn't surprise him, but there was no more metaverse? Did she manage to hold on to her powers after he defeated the god of control? Where there other ways to access the metaverse?

"Kid, you've been on the same cup for five minutes. Snapback to reality would ya?" Lala Chan comments from her station.

"Uh, oh sorry, sure thing," He responds continuing to work on the dishes. The lady at the stool seems amused with herself. Ohya's officially passed out and her seat snoring softly as Lala takes her glass and hands it back to Akira.

"It’s getting late. If Ohya's passed out, it's probably best you head on back home. I can get someone to walk you to the station if you need?" Lala Chan offers whipping down the counter. 

"I'll be fine, thanks anyway. See you later Lala Chan." He says politely, grabbing his bag and heading to the door, Morgana makes a muffled comment from his bag. Which causes the lady's head to perk up in his direction. Akira doesn't pay much mind to it though. It could just be his movement was distracting from the overall empty bar. 

But, Akira does pay her some mind when he starts seeing her everywhere.

At the train station, near the arcades in Akihabara, examining travel guides in Kichijoji, and little glimpses of her from the corner of his eye. Now, of course, a six-foot-tall British woman in Tokyo would be hard to miss. It could just be she's on vacation and is trying to see as much of Tokyo as she can. But Akira can't make any more excuses when she shows up at Leblanc.

Now, strangely enough, this is not the first time he's been stalked. He still has some guard up around Makoto because of it. But this Lady seems to know more than she lets on. Always smirking up at him from the barstool in the café.

"Could I get a name for the order, ma'am?" He asks from the shelves of beans.

"Cereza," she responds curtly.

"thank you," Akira answers back. House blend, room for cream and sugar. No problem.

"If you don't mind me asking, how'd you find this place? We don't tend to get many new people, since we're sort of out of the way," Akira asks trying not to sound on edge from her watchful gaze.

"A good friend of mine recommended it the last time he was in town. I was a bit surprised myself, he's more of the alcohol type," She replies, grins audible in her speech.

"Good to know we've got some good word of mouth. More customers wouldn't hurt. You're kind of our lunch crowd," Akira says with faux amusement.

"If you don't mind, could I ask you a question as well?" She asks.

"technically that in itself is a question," Akira answers back without thinking. Just an auto-planned response for when he talked with Akechi.

"Clever aren't you?" She smiles to herself.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Go ahead ask away," Akira covers up sheepishly.

"Do you make a habit of killing gods?" she asks, voice smooth as metal.

Akira freezes.

What?

How?

There's no way, right?

Akira stands frozen like a deer in headlights. Coffee nearly over-poured as he shakily sets the pot down. Anxiety and fear grip him instantly. How does she know? His voice is stuck in his throat. Clearly, his reaction was some kind of answer to her question.

He slowly stutters out a response :

"Who are you?'


	2. Mother, may I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akita meets the one woman that he never knew he missed.

\----------  
"I'm Cereza. Like it says on my order," She says, in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. She looks him dead on through the lenses of her glasses. Cool and calculated.

"H-how, no why, wait. Why did you ask me if I kill gods?" Akira stutters out. He's stopped pouring coffee and set everything down. Boss says he can't have any more broken mugs.

"Well it just so happens it's my job, so to speak. I know a newbie when I see one," She sends him a smile at that. Pointing a manicured finger in his direction  
"But how do you know I killed a god?"

"Sweetheart, you're not stupid, are you? You Shot that bastard in the face on live television, of course, I would know," She says flatly. "it'd be worrisome if I didn't know."

"So what do you want me to do?" He asks trying to hide his shaking hands.

"You got my letter didn't you?" She questions.

"Your letter?" He asks puzzledly. He's just getting more confused. 

"I send one every year, love," she says slightly peeved.

"The only letters I've gotten this year have been from the prosecutor's office and my mother, wait" Akira paused for a moment to look at the woman, Cereza. She just smiles knowingly at him. 

"Are you? but? How? Please excuse me for a moment, Ma'am," Akira says while heading out of the bar and towards the stairs.

How could she be? But how? Why now of all times? What could she want? Why now? Why wasn't she here for the earliest stages of his life? Why him?

He goes to the small box on his work desk and shuffles through it looking for the unopened letter from his birthday this year. He tries to mind the envelope and seal while opening it in a panic. He pulls out his mother's letter from last year and reads over it.

"Hello there Akira,

Before you worry yourself, yes I have heard the news of your unfortunate move to Tokyo. I'll be sure to send my next letter to the right address, darling. Happy belated birthday anyway, my love. I do not know when you will be receiving this, but I can assume not on time for your actual birthday. Hopefully, though, I'll be on time next year. Speaking of next year, I have found a quick job that I need to get done in Tokyo. I hopefully plan to meet you some time then, love. Although I doubt it'll be hard to find you. from what your father tells me, you are my spitting image. You should be lucky my good looks run in the family. I only tease you, sweetheart. But, you and I are more similar than you might originally think. 

Sincerely,  
Your Mother, Cereza"

Akira nearly drops the letter in his panic. He runs a hand through his hair while contemplating going back downstairs and facing, supposedly, his mother for the first time since he can remember. He reaches for the railing of the stairs so he can ease himself down the stairs back into the café. Cereza glances at him as he reaches the bottom step.

"Okay, I apologize for just running of there. I haven't been able to read that letter with everything that has happened last year and this year. I hope you can understand my shock at seeing my mom for the first time and just everything that comes with that-"

"Sweetheart, I understand. You can stop apologizing. Awakening to new powers always causes everything to be a mess. Trust me I would know," She says the last part playfully.

"A-alright. So what about my powers do you want to know about?"

"Well, I can already tell you have a few demon pacts, as well as some taking temporary residence with you. It's impressive, to say the least," She states. Tapping her chin in the same thoughtful way Akechi does.

"Ah, thank you, I had some help with that," Akira responds with scratching the back of his neck. 

"Well I hope you would, being tossed to the wolves isn't the best way to learn how to control yourself or your powers, darling,"

"Before we get too far, it's probably best if I told you this though. I can't access my personas, well my demon pacts in your words. The place where I used to be able to access them is gone as well as the god that controlled it," Akira says while looking to the ground.

"Nonsense," Cereza responds sternly.

"huh?"

"Just because one false god's domain is gone doesn't mean those pacts are obsolete. All you need, darling, is to get back to a realm that will open those pacts up again," She explains.

"So you're proposing you know of a place that lets me access my personas without outside influence?" Akira asks. His face lightens up with a morbid curiosity. 

"Precisely. How else do you think I get my abilities sweetheart?"

"Well, I didn't-"

"It was rhetorical, love," She interrupts Akira's stuttering.

"So how do you access this supposed place?" Akira asks.

"The same way I do most things, love. With magic," She smirks at that. "All we need to do is find us a nice little portal into purgatory so to speak," She says coyly, tapping her fingers on the bar. 

"Purgatory?" Akira asks, sounding confused.

"Well something similar to it, dear," She gesture with hand. 

"Here, I'll try to explain best I can in simple terminology. You know of heaven, Hell, Purgatory don't you?" Akira nods, "Basically two kinds of witches can access these realms to make pacts with demons and angels. But since neither side can play nice, what's left of us witches have to deal with them. But we get perks for it, so it's not as bad as it sounds,"

"So you're some kind of biblical exterminator?”Akira asks. Cereza just laughs, running a hand across her mouth.

'That's certainly one way to put it," Cereza responds still chuckling.

"but if you have most of it under control, what do you need me for?" Akira questions.

"well, you see two people each very close to either of us, got involved. Or there are plans to get them involved. If you ask me, heaven and hell drawing innocents into their feud will not be tolerated," 

"So you want me to be your partner?"

"Understudy might be closer, but yes, Dear. Do you accept?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos comments or criticism is welcomed💜💜💜🧙♀️

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, comments, and criticism are always welcome!
> 
> 🧙♀️💃🏽💜


End file.
